It’s been a while since I’ve posted in my journal, and well, a lot has happened. Lots of drama. And lots of it went down tonight…

Sad to say, it’s come to the point to where I have to cut ties. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be used or mistreated. I deserve more than that. I’m tired of being the person to pay for everything, to drive for everything, to bend over backwards to help people out, and then when I need something little, to only be helped after much whining, and as little as possible.

I’m not here to be walked over, used, mistreated, abused, talked rudely to, or anything of that matter. I am a human being, but more importantly, I am a Daughter of God.

Tonight, I ran away from some people, probably walked about a mile or so, in flip flops, at about 9pm. I don’t remember how I got to where I ended up, but luckily, it was a house a new. Unfortunately, no one was there. But I called someone up, cried to them, they came and picked me up, and got me to safety.

After tonights argument fight thing….I’ve realized that I shouldn’t have to put up with this anymore. I deserve to have friends where we can build eachother up, and not try to tear eachother apart. No one deserves to be treated poorly. We all deserve to be loved and have good friends.

I have been mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually sick this past week or so. I’ve kept most of it in pretty good, for the most part. But my body and such told me that it won’t take anymore.

My spirit told me I was being hurt. Told me I needed to stand up for myself, and not let it go on any longer.

My mind told me that I needed to realize the web that I had been stuck in for the past several years, and that I needed to get out of it. That I shouldn’t let people’s mind games and knowledge of my weaknesses overcome me, and that I needed to take control of the situation.

Well, I left. And am more seriously, now then ever, thinking about getting away from this area. I can’t just cut ties with 1 or 2 people. I need a fresh start. I need a place where I won’t end up falling back into the same group of people again, like I did this time, (since it’s the second time that I fall back into it).

Either way, I don’t think anything can be done to fix it. It’s been tried before, and it won’t work. I feel very sad that I have to do this. I honestly care about this/these people. I wish the best for them in every way. But I know that if I keep this going, I will never be happy.

I’m pretty sure they won’t read this, but if they do, I hope they know I care.

So my brother is leaving in a little over a week. I'm going to miss him TONS!

Last night we went to Main Event. It was Half Price Tuesday! We were bowling for a little over an hour. It was David, Amy and I. Amy (who says that she sucks at bowling…) won both games. She scored 100 on the last game.That completely shocked her.

Then we went and played some arcade games. That was pretty fun. We got one of your friends that works there to hook us up with some extra $$, he gave us a total of $18 extra. LOL. It was fun.

I'm glad that I was able to go and hang out with my bro. He's such a great person. And I know that he is going to do super well on his mission.  He is giving a talk in church on Sunday, so that will be good too! And we are planning on going to the temple on Saturday (before going to the LAN party in Tyler) and he will be able to actually do the baptizing, so that will be cool.

As I mentioned, the LAN party is on Saturday. That should be pretty fun. I think Amy is planning on going to that with us too, and she might bring a friend or 2.

Hmm…I can't think of anything else going on. I've been in a pretty good mood lately. Just kinda laid back and relaxed. I'm really trying not to let anything really stress me out or whatever. And I think I've been doing a pretty good job of that. Work has been pretty good. They are giving me a lot more work to do, and I LOVE IT! Seriously, I love when I have something to do. It makes me feel important. And it shows that I know and understand what I'm doing. They like me here, so that's great too!

Well, I'm off to go and hang out with Mandy. Have a great day! 

This is something I got in an e-mail from mom, and I thought it was rather cute.

Mathematically Speaking

What equals 100%.  What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?  Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?  We have all been
in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%.  How about
achieving 101%.  What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If the ABCs were represented in numbers:
a-1; b-2; c-3, d-4, etc.

Then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K would be 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E would be 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E would be 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
AND, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D is 12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you
there, it's the LOVE OF GOD that will put you over the top!

Ok, so the World Cup starts today. I'm super excited about it. Unfortunately, I'm stuck here at work, so I won't be able to watch the game. My Dad even asked for today off.

So, first game of the World Cup:

Costa Rica vs Germany

GREAT!!! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Costa Rica. And I will always be faithful to my team….but we don't really have too much a chance to win. But hey, it's possible. Anything can happen.

GO COSTA RICA!!!!

I even have my Costa Rican flag with me today at work! And I put the Himno Nacional de Costa Rica as one of my ringtones on my phone, as well as La Copa De La Vida by Ricky Martin.

So whatever happens, happens. And such is life. BUT….I sure hope Costa Rica does well. And I hope you all pay attention to the World Cup, because it's so much fun!

 Ole ole ole ole!!!!

So, I guess Rue and I just don't have luck with our fishies. She bought the first 2 back while I was in Costa Rica, and before I had ever made it back, she had to take on back to the store, where it died. Then a couple of days after I was here, we had to take the 2nd one back. Well, it didn't die, it got better. But we got different fish. I think we just got these fish 2 weeks ago. Rue's died Sunday. And sadly, mine just died. It was starting to look kind of sickly, but we weren't sure. Then a little while ago, I noticed that it was stuck to the filter sucker thingy…Poor fish. Rue is sad, I'm ok. I tried not to get too attached to these fish, since we hadn't been having luck. Mine was a Fantail Goldfish. I think next time, we are going to get Angel fish. Those should be better. And I suggest we not go to the same store, because it appears pet smart fish are sick fish.

So far this week has been interesting. Monday at work, I was walking back from the other building, and I slipped on some loose gravel, and twisted my ankle pretty bad. But stupid me still went and tried to play Volleyball that night. It was fun, but I know I'm paying for it now. After playing volleyball at FHE, we all went swimming at the Ayerdis'. That was lots of fun. Amy taught us how to play Water Football. You fill a clear bottle with water. You get 2 teams and have them at opposite ends. Then, someone not playing throws the bottle into the center of the pool. The 2 teams then have to go looking for the bottle. This brings about lots of dunking, and almost drownings. It looked quite fun. But I had decided that I was going to be the bottle thrower. LOL. Both teams did really well, and it was really funny to see people fighting for the bottle. We also have lots of people that apparently are good liars. It was really funny to see one person pretend like the have the bottle, so that the other team is distracted with trying to dunk this person, while the person that really has the bottle has an almost clear getaway to the "touchdown". We did have some people that played a little too rough, forgetting that people had to breathe and such, but all in all, it was pretty good. We left there around 11:40pm.

Tuesday I was still hurting, so I didn't end up going to my jujitsu class. I watched the Princess Diaries 2, because I was in the mood for a cute romantic comedy. I love that movie. Super cute. Then I went and I got a new phone, since I had broken mine on Saturday at the ward swim and then watch the Maverick's game party. LOL. So I have a new phone now. It's interesting. I still have to figure out how it works, but yeah..

So now, I'm about to leave work. I'm going to go home, take a nap, and then I'll start studying for my certification test while I do some laundry. I'm so interesting, huh?

Well, I guess that's it for now!

Teeheehee…

Whatever. Some people just aren’t used to me being so happy! And it’s not necessarily that I’m happy with everything going on. Or that I am perfectly happy. I’m just happy right now. I’m not letting things stress me out like I usually do.

And who cares if one guy doesn’t like me. Oh well. So you move on. I’m going to start asking lots of guys on dates now. It’ll be fun. And if they say no, oh well, move on to the next one. I don’t really care anymore. LOL! I’m just gonna have fun and enjoy my life.

So yeah, I’m doing good today. I’m in a good mood. All is well.’

I didn’t really have anything important to say. I just wanted to say that I am happy and doing well today. Not letting anything stress me out. PURA VIDA!

So I’ve had this page open for the last 2 hours trying to figure out what to write in here…Have I written anything yet?? Nope. Well, I mean, now there is something, but yeah..ANYWAYS………………………

Last night I went on a date. WOAH! I haven’t been on a date in over a year. So I was really nervous. The guy I went with is pretty cool. I guess you could say I have a crush. But yeah. It was a double date. We went to the French Lake park and had a picnic. Then we played on the swings and other things and took random pictures. Then we went to the movies and we saw X-Men. It was Super Good!! I loved it! OMGoodness! It was sooooooo intense. I was digging holes in my hands with my nails! Good thing my nails weren’t longer. But it rawked!!

Anyways, after the movie, we went back to my place and played some DDR and then the guys went home. That’s about it. Nothing too exciting really. Although I’m pretty sure he isn’t interested in me. But that’s ok. He’s a really good friend, and that’s really all that matters. It’s cool. And I’m just trying to get back to my days when I was ok with asking guys out on dates. Because, really, it’s lots of fun to date around. So it works!

Well, I’m going to be leaving work in about…20-30 minutes or so. I get to go see Mandaloo! YAY! I’m totally excited about that. I haven’t seen her in over a month. Almost 2 months even. It’s been way too long! So it should be pretty fun to see her!

I’m going to a party tomorrow with Amy. It’s at some lake in Denton. That should be pretty cool. I won’t know anyone but Amy, but that’s ok. She says her friends are pretty fun, so that’s good. It’s always fun to meet new people and make new friends. Plus, I need to get out and about. I need to meet new people. Not that I don’t love all the people in my life right now, but I need something new. I need a new spice in my life or something. I’m just sort of bored with where I am at right now.

And if you know me well, you know that I ALWAYS have to be doing something fun and exciting. It’s just who I am. I can’t be bored and just sitting there. I love doing things, that’s just who I am.

Well, I better get back to work. I need to finish up where I am at so that I can leave here pretty quickly!

Welp, looks like I'm back to doing my usual thing. Work has been pretty good. It's just been hard to get back into the swing of things. It's not my fault though. I mean, I was on vacation for 2 weeks. I got used to being able to sleep in, just relax on the beach. And see, in Costa Rica…no one is ever really in a rush. Everyone is relaxed, calm, no pressure, easy going, PURA VIDA. Here, everyone is ALWAYS rushed, stressed, in a hurry, it's CRAZY! And I miss the laid back, easy going feeling of being in Costa Rica. I wish I could learn to not be so stressed all the time, but that's going to be very hard to overcome.

I got food poisoning Monday from something I ate at Fudruckers… bleh. It sucked. It's still affecting me. I missed my Jujitsu class on Tuesday because I wasn't feeling well. I did, however, go yesterday. It had been 3 weeks since I had gone to class. I was afraid I had forgotten everything. But instead, I did pretty good. I was proud of myself. I remembered all the important stuff that I needed to remember. And it did really good on my techniques.

 Oh, so I have some of my pictures put up on Photobook now. Well, when I say some, I mean only 19, because I haven't had a chance to put them all there. It takes too long. But you can go and check out My Album and see the pictures I have up so far. Hopefully I'll be able to get more up soon.

 I'm pretty excited about this weekend. There is a dance tonight in Arlington. We are supposed to dress up as Hippies. It should be pretty fun. Several people from my Ward are going, so that's good. After that, I think some of the girls are coming over to my house for a Slumber Party. Fun fun. I can't remember the last time I was even at a slumber party. We are planning on having junk food, and girl talk (oh well, I guess I can engage in that once in a while), games and movies, and who knows what else.

Tomorrow, my family is going to Dallas. David gets to go through the temple, so that will be exciting. It's a big step in his life. I still can't believe that he will be gone in a month. I'm going to miss him lots and lots. But I know that he will be doing the Lord's work, and that's what matters. He will be an awesome servant of the Lord.

Saturday night I think there might be a party at Russell's. I'm not exactly sure about that. He was telling us Sunday that he wanted to have one. So I guess he will tell us tonight at the dance whether he is going to have it or not. Should be fun if he does.

Welp, I think I'm going to be leaving for lunch now, so I guess that's it for now! 

Hey hey hey! I'm Back home now! So what's up with everyone! I am burnt and tired, but I had an awesome trip! I have a ton of pictures that I will upload on to my computer soon and hopefully I will find a good place to put them up so everyone can see them! Although, I'm warning you, I have over 300 pictures, so it may take me a while. But I'll see if I can put up some good ones soon.

Anywho, I'm back, so give me a call and we can hang out! 

Well, It´s Monday! Here I am, sitting at an internet cafe that we just walked by. We are in my old neighborhood where I used to live. We saw some old friends, and others weren´t around. So far, this has been a really good vacation. I´ve been enjoying most every bit of it! I love it! It´s so good to be back.

Today I went and bought several things. Lots of fun things to bring back and give to everyone. I´m super excited.

Last week was the week of touring around and seeing sites and beaches and playing the part of a tourist. This week, we are visiting family and getting some paperwork done and such. But it will still be good. It´s always good to see family.

So far I have taken almost 300 pictures. I love them all. They are turning out so well! I can´t wait to show them all to you. I´ve also taken video. I´ll post them as soon as I get a chance when I get home! They are going to be great!

Well, we are being charged by the hour *sigh* so I better finish this up. I don´t know if I´ll be able to get back on the internet any more times this week. But I love you all! Be good, safe and have fun! See you soon!